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Crossing your legs

Today, I saw a live vasectomy performed on television. A step-by-step rundown:


  1. Insert big needle into area between scrotum & penis, inject local anasthetic.

  2. Lie back, and think of the Queen.

  3. Perform 0.5->1.0cm incision in scrotum.

  4. Go fishing! Pull-out middle segment of vas deferens.

  5. Suture off the target area.

  6. Remove the target area with a cauterizer.

  7. Close opening.

  8. Try not to feint when the doctor shows you the macarnoi-sized segment of your genatalia s/he just yanked-out of your hackey-sack.



Yeaaahhhh... I don't think I'll be having one of those anytime in the near future. 'Think I'll stick with the tried & true "Keep It In Your Shorts" method. Failing that, "Keeping It Out Of Her Shorts" seems like an acceptable fall-back position, followed by "Use a Condom!".

Does anyone else think that male-contraception technology may be a little underdeveloped when an accepted method involves having someone in a mask cut-out part of your gonads, and then show it to you?

Oi, I mean, imagine a fecund young woman was in for roughly analagous surgery, and the doctor popped up at the end, dangled an ovary overhead, and said, "Well, well, she gave us a bit of a time, but we found the little bugger! Shall we stick-it in a pickle jar for you, or just toss-it out to the squirrles?"



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