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Post-Rapture clean-up!

A friend and I were watching a documentary on a certain... un-named religious sect that caused us to have a discussion on the unforseen side-effects of attaching oneself to a particularly literal dogma. One faithful member of the sect explained their official dogma regarding the resurrection; to paraphrase:

"We sincerely believe, based upon the [literal] word God's revelations to us through the prophets, that after the resurrection, every bit, every hair, every atom of the God-given bodies of those who have accepted God's Grace will be restored to us for ever and for eternity."

I, in particular, had slight problems with this particularly literal interpretation:

"Well, that's just stupid. What if you died with the fetus of your unborn twin brother attached to your neck? What the hell kind of Paradise would that be, with an undeveloped fetus hanging off you like a perverse goiter for the rest of forever?"

"Hell, what if your wife was *really*, unpleasantly ugly before you married her, and you only got together after she had half-a-million dollars in plastic surgery? Do you get the pretty wife after the resurrection, or the ugly one?"


The other fellow's addition (he's Catholic):

"And what if you're one of those people who gets-off on amputating your own body parts? Do you get resurrected with the legs that you went to all the trouble sawing off? Maybe that means that you can keep-on sawing off your legs every day, and they'll just keep growing back. Maybe that would be heaven for them!"

...

"Yeah, I think that there might be a few slight problems with their interpretation of Scripture..."

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