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'Feel like a complete ass. Sometime in the afternoon, while on retreat, my phone buzzed with a message, which I could neither check nor respond to at the time. As it turns out, it was from A-M; she was under the impression that I would be in Toronto this weekend, and was hoping to see me at her concert at St. Mary Magdalene's, which I'd promised to go to and which was tonight. Bloody hell.

She must have misunderstood me when I'd written that I'd be coming in "next Friday" and invited me. I feel like a complete let-down, which is probably over the top, because it was a simple misunderstanding. But I feel bad because she wanted to see me there and I made a promise, and I can't stand not living up to my promises (even when they're physically impossible, it seems).

'Feel so incredibly stupid... Hopefully she received the txts which I sent to her before the concert, and doesn't forlornly scan the crowd for me. Buggering stupid.

Ugh. Well I'm a bit over-tired and dramatic; it was a long day of meditation practice, and very dense theoretic talk. The fact that I got through it has a lot to do with the litre of tea and fifty-odd grams of sugar which I consumed over the course of it. I'll have to listen to the recordings of the lectures once or twice just to remember a third of them.

Back at it tomorrow in the wee hours. We'll see whether A-M writes back or not; I hate to admit that I'm afraid that she's truly hurt and pissed. There's a neurosis to work on. Yeesh.

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