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Making lemonade

In my vast, and possibly scotch & opiate-induced wisdom, there is only one proper way to deal with your problems. No friend, it isn't to hide from them! It isn't to bargain, or to barter. It isn't to cower or cringe! Nor is the answer to suffer silently through the slings & arrows of that outrageous fortune. No, the answer my good, dear folk, is quite clear:


With a blood-curdling cry on your lips, and a manic's grin on your face, you must run, screaming, at the source of your troubles, grab it by its misbegotten face, and bite off its snout. That's correct gentle snowflakes, you hear right! You must chew the nose from the profile of your bedevilments, masticate, and spit it out. Only then shall you have humbled the twitching fiend, beaten-down the bifurcated beast, conquered the cantering cog-works of the...


What? No, I don't think I've had enough to drink, thank-you....

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
marcnicholas
Dec. 6th, 2005 09:07 pm (UTC)
Noah, of Digital Cafe fame, would like to take opium.

He wants to shove it up his rectum. Apparently that's the best way to take it.

How would you take it? :P
ccord
Dec. 6th, 2005 09:12 pm (UTC)
In bagel form. It makes for easier digestion. :)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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