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On the Four Practices and the Four Features of true love and commitment...

To commit to another person is to embark on a very adventurous journey. There is no one “right person” who will make it easier. You must be very wise and patient to keep your love alive, so that it will last for a long time.

The first year of a committed relationship reveals how difficult it is. When you first commit to someone, you have a beautiful image of them, and you commit to that image rather than the person. When you live with them twenty-four hours a day, you begin to discover that the reality of the other person doesn’t quite correspond with the image you have of them. Sometimes you’re disappointed.

In the beginning of a relationship, you’re very passionate. But that passion may only last a short time—maybe six months, a year, or two years. Then, if you’re not skillful, if you don’t practice mindfulness, concentration, and insight, suffering will be born in you and in the other person. When you see someone else, you might think you’d be happier with them. In Vietnam, there is a saying: “Standing on top of one mountain and gazing at the top of another, you think you’d rather be standing on the other mountain...”

After the Honeymoon - Lion's Roar

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